Is this what they call a 'heart'?
'Coz I've never known how to use such a thing,
From the very start.
Sure, I've made mistakes.
But they were all supposed to hurt myself,
God knows, what it really takes-
When it comes to hurting someone else.
And now I'm standing here-
Not knowing what to do,
There's a fight-between wrong and right,
My chest feels heavy, and my head feels confused.
'Coz I'm not one of those who prefer to just let it be,
To live amidst ignorance, oblivion and no mercy,
'Coz my entire life flashes before my eyes,
When I remember the only pledge that I had once taken with all my might.
A pledge that would cost me-my entire 17 years,
Everything will become so drastically meaningless,
If I ever try to break this pledge:
"That 'true emotions' is a rare gift-something that not everybody can feel,
Wherever you go, whatever you do, never mistreat someone real."
My thoughts and opinions had always been clear,
My head had solutions to almost everything that didn't feel right,
Until it opposed this something that's beating,
And they both got into this massive fight.
What if I end up doing down some destructive path?
'Coz I'm not aware of the aftermath.
And I don't know what I want, what I'm going to do.
Am I going to get broken?
Or am I going to break?
Am I going to kill & destroy?
Or am I going to relish & appreciate?
No, I don't know what I'm feeling.
It's all numb-my conscience, my only guide.
I can only listen to this something that's beating,
The only proof that I am still alive.
At last. Peace.
Peace is the only thing that I need, the only thing I ask for God's sake.
But something's beating inside me,
Which takes it all away......
-Thank You(2014)
Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2014
Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2014
