In this article, I will talk about the solutions to the problem of being stuck in a rut. This article is the sequel to my previous article: Circle, Points, Ruts and Pain.
1) It starts with a choice.
"They usually say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."-Andy Warhot.
If you want to make ANY change in your life, just make a choice to do it. Just take responsibility to clean up our own mess, solve your own problem. If you wait for it, you are wasting your time. It is not going to happen on its own. I repeat, IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ON ITS OWN. If you delay solving things that you can solve today, if you delay the work you are supposed to do now, it will only become harder and harder to solve by day. There is a slight chance that it may get easier with time. But you just cannot take that for granted. What you have to expect is that tomorrow is going to get harder, and so you must prepare yourself to not make any further mistakes. Moreover, if you feel you can solve something now, why wait? Waiting means settling for misery and if you are settling for misery, then you are wasting moments of happiness that you may be able to enjoy sooner.
"All urgent calls he shall hear at once, but never put off; for when postponed, they will prove too hard or impossible to accomplish."-Chanakya
2) When you decide to make the choice, choose the tough path.
Usually the easier paths and the easier choices end up wooing us. This is so because they usually tend to be in our comfort zone, and give us short term satisfaction or pleasure. And we don't have to work hard to achieve failure. Any kind of negativity or failure is easily achievable. That is why we choose the easier path that has a high possibility of being the wrong path in the long run. We let the negativity be dominant on us. But success is like a bitchy woman who likes to play hard to get, and messes with your mind. It doesn't come easy, so you have to make the tough choices in order to achieve success.
3) Play devil's advocate; never lose hope.
There will come some times when you will feel like you are failing, like you are doing the wrong thing or you have messed up again. But you don't have to give up, lose hope or patience. You have to play devil's advocate with yourself and learn to forcefully push away your negative thoughts, even if it's against your will.
4) Love yourself, value yourself and invest in yourself.
You cannot succeed if you keep cursing yourself every second. No matter how many times you screw up, continue to love, value and appreciate yourself, Say 'I love you' to yourself often. It may sound silly, but trust me, it works. It will increase your confidence, change your perception about yourself and about other things, it will improve your thoughts, which will affect your actions, and you will automatically start doing what you want to do in order to succeed.
Invest in yourself. Prioritize yourself, and start working for your happiness. So something good like learn a new language, develop a new hobby, travel, socialize or exercise.
5) Take baby steps.
If you want to accomplish anything, it is not going to happen right away. Start small, and by small I mean RIDICULOUSLY SMALL, so small that is not even noticeable. For example, if you want to start exercising for 1 hour everyday, start by exercising 2 minutes per day. 2 minutes, you can do that, right? If you want to be committed to read a book every single day, start by reading a few lines per day. Take the tiniest baby steps you can possibly take. That will make your target seem achievable and will help you think that you are on the road of progress, which will help you get out of the rut.
6) Watch what you say to yourself.
Even science proves that the biggest solutions to your problems lie in your own psychology. Whether the problem is mental, physical, emotional or otherwise-it can be solved or it can be made easier by saying positive things to yourself. So always stay positive things to yourself. Do not feel guilty for anything. Stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for what happens to you. Ignore the inner critic. Always remember, the worst part about being an adult is that you have to parent yourself. So take responsibility for both your bad and good actions and be determined to become a better version of yourself.
7) Follow your heart, but take your mind with you.
Life is all about making mistakes. We all learn by making mistakes. And it is necessary for everyone to make mistakes in life. Not making mistakes means not doing anything. And as you already know, I don't promote the idea of inactivity or stagnation, because stagnation means no progress, and no progress means death. Without making mistakes, you cannot learn anything positive and your mental growth cannot occur. So make mistakes. Take risks. Follow your heart even if the world thinks you are crazy. Go for the things that you want to go for. But always remember: make mistakes, but make mistakes that you can recover from.
Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did. -H Jackson Brown, Jr.
8) Understand that there is no such thing as a 'personality'.
There is no such thing as personality. It is all a perception of your mind. None of us really do posses a fixed personality. All we have is some characteristics, and some traits, which are supposed to grow and change with time and experience. It is both healthy and necessary to change your personality traits with time. This is a part of the process of change, progress and adaption. Evolution in plants and animals is based on the same concept.
9) Take it easy, don't worry, don't let this be hard on yourself.
Nothing in the universe lasts forever. Every good and bad thing will fade one day. Even the entire human race will disappear some day. So cherish what you can, don't worry, keep up the faith, laugh at yourself and keep smiling!
Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2015
