In our eyes

And so, here I am again,

Speechless, thoughtless,

Nothing more left to say.

It feels good for the first time,

This striking tinge of pain,

That is within my heart,

For I never knew,

I could feel this way.

I don’t know how I got here,

And I don’t really know why,

But what I really do know is,

That the things that used to break me down,

Now make me shed tears of joy.

This is a feeling, I’ve never experienced before.

It terrifies me,

Deepens, magnifies into my fears,

Yet I still somehow always want more.

My mind was mine,

My life was fine.

Everything was calm, there was no storm,

My heart needed nothing more,

I was pretty sure.

Until you came,

And somehow, there was a quake.

Yes, you shook me, from the core.

You didn’t do anything to make this happen,

Nor did I.

Nothing was planned,

But I guess our souls were already in a band,

Upon those constellations of the stars,

Beyond the deep secrets of the sky.

I am lost,

But I am found.

My heart is beating,

Yet it has stopped.

And all this time,

 I actually thought I was living,

Even though I was actually dead.

For now I know what it feels like to be breathing,

Even though there are issues unresolved and words unsaid.

I was content before,

I thought I had all I needed,

To live a happy life.

I thanked God for making me content,

“You’re welcome”, is what I thought he’d say,

But his response shattered me instead,

For it puzzled me, when he said:

“I command you to not settle,

For you, my dear, are just existing,

And you have no idea what you’re missing,

And there is so much before to this beautiful life,

This is no time for you to be satisfied.”

And then it hit me,

That he was trying to shift me,

From the feeling of existence,

To the feeling of being alive.

I don’t know what else to say,

But speechless, thoughtless,

Is what I’d like to be today.

For all I know, that the universe guides us,

In its divine and mysterious ways.

Even though life is unpredictable,

But I know, eventually, one fine day,

We will no longer need the ‘what may’ and ‘what might’,

And would be easy, for we will finally see the light.

But until then, if we ever need an explanation,

A look beyond these utter confusions,

I would always like,

To look for them in our eyes.

Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2015

My life, my book.

I control my thoughts

I control my actions

I control my words

I control my reactions

I am responsible for my joy

I am responsible for my sorrow

I must not look up to you for my happiness

And I must not wait for tomorrow

My life is my book

You may take a look

But only I am allowed to be its author

You cannot write my story for me

For you are just a character

Belonging to a single chapter

People or things don't run me

I must run the things around me

And for that I must set my spirit free

I must learn to conserve my internal energy

And not let people or things reduce me

And I must make sure

That my hand never happens to shake

While writing my own story

For I was never created to be defeated or weak

And as I write

I decorate each page

For there is only one life

My standards and principles

Must define and increase its worth

So that it becomes so beautiful

That I would want to live it again

And so that my book becomes 

Such a unique and historic piece of literature

That nobody else can write it again.

Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2015

Mental blocks or a crazy streak: Which one do you choose?

If you want to change anything in this entire planet, and disturb the natural flow of things in this universe, you got to break free from the narrow perspectives, the narrow mentality. A narrow mind implies mental blocks. And mental blocks are the biggest, the biggest and the biggest obstacles to any kind of change. Mental blocks are villainous; if they exist within you, they can destruct or deviate your thoughts. Mental blocks are contagious too; if they exist within the people around you, they can stop you from believing in yourself and indwell your mind. 

Escaping from external mental blocks is practically impossible; because they exist(in different forms)in every single person around us.

But the people who are able to, or at least try to, remove the mental blocks within themselves are extraordinary and special. 

These are the people who don't care about what the world thinks about them, the different and the unique ones, the people who dare to dare, the misfits, the misplaced, the rebels, the crazy ones, the rule breakers, the misunderstood and the trouble makers. They  are the ones who break the barriers of narrow and blocked thinking. They are the ones who can see things in a different way, who possess the capability to have a different vision and to visualize things in the most unimaginable and the scariest ways. They might be considered as 'crazy' by the rest of the world, but really, they are the ones who can make massive progress and evolutionary changes to the human life.

So here's to the crazy ones: I respect you. I salute you for being yourself. As long as you do the right thing and intend well, never ever change for anyone. Take unbelievable amounts of risks. Do whatever that makes your spirit feel stronger and happier. Never let fear or self-doubt block your mind. It is okay to let yourself go sometimes. It is okay to laugh off some things that bother you. Never ever care about what the other people think or say about you. You have to be comfortable in your own skin, be proud, be yourself. And always remember that we are in a world which is continuously trying to make you like everyone else.

And most importantly: BE UNSTOPPABLE. Don't let mental blocks(internal or external) block you! 

(Trust me, it is worth it. Someday it will all make sense.)

Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2015

My Daily Journal#6: THE SOLUTION (SEQUEL TO CIRCLES, POINTS, RUTS AND PAIN)

In this article, I will talk about the solutions to the problem of being stuck in a rut. This article is the sequel to my previous article: Circle, Points, Ruts and Pain.

1) It starts with a choice.

"They usually say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."-Andy Warhot.

If you want to make ANY change in your life, just make a choice to do it. Just take responsibility to clean up our own mess, solve your own problem. If you wait for it, you are wasting your time. It is not going to happen on its own. I repeat, IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ON ITS OWN. If you delay solving things that you can solve today, if you delay the work you are supposed to do now, it will only become harder and harder to solve by day. There is a slight chance that it may get easier with time. But you just cannot take that for granted. What you have to expect is that tomorrow is going to get harder, and so you must prepare yourself to not make any further mistakes. Moreover, if you feel you can solve something now, why wait? Waiting means settling for misery and if you are settling for misery, then you are wasting moments of happiness that you may be able to enjoy sooner.

"All urgent calls he shall hear at once, but never put off; for when postponed, they will prove too hard or impossible to accomplish."-Chanakya

2) When you decide to make the choice, choose the tough path.

Usually the easier paths and the easier choices end up wooing us. This is so because they usually tend to be in our comfort zone, and give us short term satisfaction or pleasure. And we don't have to work hard to achieve failure. Any kind of negativity or failure is easily achievable. That is why we choose the easier path that has a high possibility of being the wrong path in the long run. We let the negativity be dominant on us. But success is like a bitchy woman who likes to play hard to get, and messes with your mind. It doesn't come easy, so you have to make the tough choices in order to achieve success.

3) Play devil's advocate; never lose hope.

There will come some times when you will feel like you are failing, like you are doing the wrong thing or you have messed up again. But you don't have to give up, lose hope or patience. You have to play devil's advocate with yourself and learn to forcefully push away your negative thoughts, even if it's against your will.

4) Love yourself, value yourself and invest in yourself.

You cannot succeed if you keep cursing yourself every second. No matter how many times you screw up, continue to love, value and appreciate yourself, Say 'I love you' to yourself often. It may sound silly, but trust me, it works. It will increase your confidence, change your perception about yourself and about other things, it will improve your thoughts, which will affect your actions, and you will automatically start doing what you want to do in order to succeed. 

Invest in yourself. Prioritize yourself, and start working for your happiness. So something good like learn a new language, develop a new hobby, travel, socialize or exercise.

5) Take baby steps.

If you want to accomplish anything, it is not going to happen right away. Start small, and by small I mean RIDICULOUSLY SMALL, so small that is not even noticeable. For example, if you want to start exercising for 1 hour everyday, start by exercising 2 minutes per day. 2 minutes, you can do that, right? If you want to be committed to read a book every single day, start by reading a few lines per day. Take the tiniest baby steps you can possibly take. That will make your target seem achievable and will help you think that you are on the road of progress, which will help you get out of the rut.

6) Watch what you say to yourself.

Even science proves that the biggest solutions to your problems lie in your own psychology. Whether the problem is mental, physical, emotional or otherwise-it can be solved or it can be made easier by saying positive things to yourself. So always stay positive things to yourself. Do not feel guilty for anything. Stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for what happens to you. Ignore the inner critic. Always remember, the worst part about being an adult is that you have to parent yourself. So take responsibility for both your bad and good actions and be determined to become a better version of yourself.

7) Follow your heart, but take your mind with you.

Life is all about making mistakes. We all learn by making mistakes. And it is necessary for everyone to make mistakes in life. Not making mistakes means not doing anything. And as you already know, I don't promote the idea of inactivity or stagnation, because stagnation means no progress, and no progress means death. Without making mistakes, you cannot learn anything positive and your mental growth cannot occur. So make mistakes. Take risks. Follow your heart even if the world thinks you are crazy. Go for the things that you want to go for. But always remember: make mistakes, but make mistakes that you can recover from.

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did. -H Jackson Brown, Jr.

8) Understand that there is no such thing as a 'personality'.

There is no such thing as personality. It is all a perception of your mind. None of us really do posses a fixed personality. All we have is some characteristics, and some traits, which are supposed to grow and change with time and experience. It is both healthy and necessary to change your personality traits with time. This is a part of the process of change, progress and adaption. Evolution in plants and animals is based on the same concept.

9) Take it easy, don't worry, don't let this be hard on yourself.

Nothing in the universe lasts forever. Every good and bad thing will fade one day. Even the entire human race will disappear some day. So cherish what you can, don't worry, keep up the faith, laugh at yourself and keep smiling!

Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2015

How Old Is Your Soul?

What if I told you
That you are not who you think you are.
What if I told you
That there is some other shining star,
Beneath that surface of yours.
What if I told you
That there is a completely different person,
More beautiful, Residing beneath that cover,
That I've clearly seen-
But for you, it's still undiscovered.
What if I told you
What you think of yourself is all fake,
You've been misguided by life,
some inimical circumstances and some mistakes.
But I feel responsible to show you the right path,
May be that's why I've been sent to you by fate.
What if I told you
That suppressed person inside of you
Is the reason why you feel lost or puzzled sometimes,
And that special, miraculous spirit-
Is what has forced me to write this rhyme.
That glorious side of you must come to the surface,
Your past struggles and sufferings are not supposed to suppress it.
What If I told you
That I've felt a connection, 
Beyond all desires and deeds, beyond all universal obstacles,
That may have existed beyond this lifetime.
And even though we are now exactly where we're supposed to be,
 But until I find a way to fix this,
I will never be able to achieve inner peace
What If I told you
That one purpose of my life is to sacrifice,
All that I have to make you realize,
What colors you truly hold in those humble and thoughtful,
Yet ignorant eyes.
What if I told you
There are things that I don't know,
But they are known by your friends.
Like your mind, they may peruse it to the core.
Like your heart, they may cherish it as a whole.
But what if I told you
I know your soul?

My Daily Journal#5: CIRCLES, POINTS, RUTS AND PAIN

Time: 9.51 PM                                                                Date: December 14, 2014
Age:18                                                                           Occasion:None
                                     
                                                         Entry#2401

Life is one big circle. We start as nothing and become nothing. And as the author John Green stated, ‘oblivion is inevitable’. You are meant to live and then you’re meant to be forgotten. The starting point and the end point is common for all of us, i.e. nothingness. But, quite amazingly, the journey from nothingness to nothingness is called life, which is considered to be everything.  And in this circle of life, we come across many progressive points which define the quality and story of our life, and decide who we are as individuals. These points can be considered as anything: time periods, situations, circumstances or even the people we meet.  Now the experience of these points can be good or bad, but the ultimate effect of all of them is common: to help us learn, make progress, move forward, to fulfill the purpose of our life, and to reach the ultimate goal of nothingness in the best and the most convenient way possible.

There is one rule about this circle of life. You just cannot be stagnant. You just cannot stop moving forward, because if you stop, you’re not making progress. And if you aren’t making progress, then you cannot fulfill the purpose of your life and reach the end point of nothingness. And that is not supposed to happen, so when you become stagnant, these points of progression start pulling you towards themselves. The pull can be defined as the continuous mental stimulation to move forward done by our own conscience due to our own internal or external factors. And they pull us so rapidly and so intensely, that many people start feeling like they can’t handle it, can’t go on and end up being victimized by things like anxiety and depression. And what depression does to you is what you are not able to do for yourself. It helps you to jump all of your progressive points, travel the circle of life as fast as possible, and to reach the end point of nothingness as soon as possible, eroding the existence of stagnation. In short, it kills you. Life. Progress. Death. There is just no place for stagnation here.

And since humans are meant to keep moving, make continuous progress and not be stagnant before they reach their end point, they are built with certain qualities that instinctively attract them to do so. And one of those qualities is ‘desire.’ A desire to dream, a desire to achieve. A desire to make as much progress as possible, to live these progressive points to the fullest, and to enjoy the journey of life. A desire to achieve success and happiness in almost all areas of our life. A desire to make the most out of everything, and to cherish the joys of success, fame, money or relationships. And as we target to achieve something, and we work towards it, our desires and expectations only grow because they make us feel closer to passing our progressive points, and to reaching our ultimate goal of nothingness.

And when our desires and expectations grow towards something, what comes along is dissatisfaction or pain. This pain can arise from failure or lack of progress in our desired goals. It can be bearable, too little or too much. But it is something you cannot escape from, as much as you want to. The purpose of pain, I believe, is to help us understand our desires and expectations, so that we can work towards our goals more wisely. But the big question arises-What if the pain is non-bearable and it takes over our lives? And how to tell whether the pain is bearable or not?

Well, we humans are so clever.  Subconsciously, we do know that there is no place for the existence of stagnation. So when we experience tremendous pain in our lives, we pick up the particular progressive point that is causing it, fixate on it, and start circling around only that particular point. Our spirits are aware of the fact that we cannot stop, we have to keep moving forward, and we that have to go keep up the circular path.  So we give up working round the circle of life, instead we start to work round this particular circle that we think will help our pain go away. We get caught up in these little circles, in these little ruts until the problem gets solved and the pain goes away. Travelling in these little circles or ruts for some particular time can prove to be healthy sometimes. It may help to ease your pain or to discover the unexplored aspects of your life. But it is all good only until and unless you don’t get stuck in that little circle.

You know you’re stuck in that circle when you’re continuously trying to work on things that don’t matter, don’t benefit you in the long run, give you continuous disappointments, become an addiction or necessity, or increase the amount of your pain.

So what to do if you really are stuck? You can’t not do anything about it and be stagnant, because if you are stuck in a little rut which gives you pain, it will kill you soon. If anything can make it better, it is acceptance. But even that can't make it go away. Accepting your pain can only make it easier for you to live with it, not make it go away.

So what is the solution?

She put down her pen and gave a deep sigh.

“I guess I’ll just write that at the right time.” She said to herself as she smiled.

To Be Continued

Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2014

TIME FOR A CHANGE (IMPLEMENT SEX EDUCATION-FOR COLLEGE PRESENTATION)

It is the 21^st century,

We are the next generation.

We’re people full of knowledge and capability,

Who ironically choose ignorance and hesitation.

The dreamers, doers, creators and reformers of the nation,

Who’ve been taught every skill in the world,

The teachers, preachers and learners aspiring for innovation,

Who’ve never been taught the difference between a boy and a girl.

If we are ashamed to comfort our children
with the existence of sexuality,

We deserve to be ashamed-

For this is a shame!

Because without proper sex education,

No citizen can take sex normally!

So my friends-

It is time for a revolution!

This generation will take things differently,

We must change,

Give up the hesitation,

And implement sex education definitely!

-Thank You

Copyright © Upasana Goyal 2014